Friday, March 9, 2012

Action 146 - Accept Responsibility.

This morning, a friend asked me, "how do you deal with your husband not being on the same page you are about your eating and your working out?"

It's a good question. And not so long ago, I would have answered by saying that Ric was sabotaging my efforts. I would have blamed him for cooking the way he does, not going with me when I run, and making it hard for me to stick to my nutrition and fitness plan. Yeah, right. Like any of this is his fault.

Action 146 - Accept Responsibility. Sure, making a change to a life focused on nutrition and activity is more complicated when there is someone else involved, but blaming him for own failure to stick to it is ridiculous for so many reasons.

  1. He didn't choose to change. I did. I can't expect him to modify everything he does just because I am making changes.

  2. His choices may tempt me, but that doesn't mean he is doing it intentionally. Assuming so only fuels resentment.

  3. The actions are mine. He can cook whatever he wants, but I am the one holding my own fork.

  4. Change is hard enough, but more so when it is someone else pushing it. He's doing the best he can.

  5. My own mixed messages are confusing for him. I say I am going to be healthy and eat better, than I buy and eat a whole pint of ice cream. My inconsistency makes it hard for him to know what to expect.

The bottom line is, my husband has worked very hard to try to help me. He makes healthier food items, works lower-calorie options into his normal cooking, and tries his best to keep up with my ever-changing ideas and crazy plans. He has traveled across the country to cheer me on when I ran a marathon and he has waited patiently at other events just to take pictures of me as I run by.

My husband is trying very hard to support me on my journey. The least I can do is acknowledge that support and stop trying to blame him when I stumble. The responsibility is mine.

Thanks, Husband!

Here's Ric, up early on the weekend to cheer me and Jerry on as we ran the Marine Corps Boot Camp Challenge.


  1. I could not agree with you more. My husband does the majority of the cooking and for awhile I was so annoyed that he didn't cook all the "right" things. Until it occurred to me that he does cook healthy food, I just choose unhealthy snacks to go with it. Sigh.

    Accept responsibility. Yep.

  2. You're not the boss of me, John. Sometimes I find it easier to continue pushing on when I blame someone else. The anger fuels me.

    I am, of course, kidding.

    A little. >;^]

  3. Eric, your wife is perfect. Any flaw in the system has to be from you. I feel compelled to share this nugget o' knowledge with you.

    (Anything else you wanted me to say, Christine? No? Okay, I'll post this, then.)

  4. This was really a good one that I needed to read. I have found myself doing the same thing in the past... I'm not married or in any sort of relationship, but I would find myself blaming my friends for tempting me with what they know are my weaknesses- eating out! I felt like it was them that sabotaged my efforts to not eat out and be healthy, but really it is me. I make the choice to say "yes" to the invitation. I'm the one that orders the bacon burger instead of the chicken sandwich. This one was definitely so relatable!