Friday, May 14, 2021

"What are three things I'm proud of having accomplished?"


"Your Masterpiece."

Every day John works he blows away his quota, and he does it without errors. John works every day to keep the house organized and beautiful. He cleans, does laundry, and empties the dishwasher. Whatever he does, he does his best. Every day. He NEVER slacks. He does everything with CARE. He realizes he’s not just working, he is helping people. So all of his work is concise, accurate, and extremely fast. His attention to detail is phenomenal. If only there were some recognition for this at companies he works for.

~ Ric

"Free Our Minds"

When Ric was growing up, he heard a lot of negative things about himself from people that he thought were right about him. He was told that he was dumb, that he would never keep up with the smarter kids, and that he would struggle with learning his whole life. He was also told that being gay was wrong and that he should feel ashamed of it.

But Ric worked hard to unlearn those beliefs and to finally find pride in what he can do and who he is. He is smart. He is clever. And there is nothing wrong or shameful about living his life openly and honestly as a gay man.

My husband decided he didn't like what he believed and he changed. He created his own mindset of intelligence, passion, and acceptance. He freed his own mind.

~ John

Thursday, May 13, 2021

"What's a hobby you tried but did not enjoy?"

"Keep Moving"

John never stops moving. If he’s not planning a virtual get together, he’s blogging or managing a Facebook group or working or writing or video blogging or organizing a cluttered space or a million other things. He’s got to do lists and reminders and check lists. And he doesn’t just have lists, he actually does everything on the lists. He even tracks our finances and projected vacations for years from now. He’s pretty amazing!

~ Ric

"Something Fabulous"

This is what life with Ric is like. It's already good, sure, but there's always something more still on the way. Even during dark times, I trust that things are going to be good again. And they always are. There's so much joy ahead, and I am so happy to be experiencing it all with the one man who believes in chasing the same adventures that I do.

~ John

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

"If you were to take a class together, what would the subject be?"


"Coming Up."

I used to dread whatever might be around the corner. "Now, what?!" But that's mostly because my life was one bad thing happening after another. It was experience warning me to be afraid of what might happen next.

And then Ric came along and my life changed for the better. Instead of dreading the future, I began to look forward to it. Sure, there were still challenges and setbacks. But mostly, life has become something wonderful to experience and to treasure. I may not know what's coming up, but I trust it's going to be amazing!

~ John

"Be curious."

John is curious by nature. He investigates things that interest him. He loves music, theater, language, and a whole host other intellectual pursuits. I would say John is not judgmental. He can tell if someone has merit or not, but it takes him time to really verify someone’s worth, or lack thereof. John errs on the side of good. He gives people the benefit of the doubt. He sometimes gets hurt by that. But at least he knows he’s tried. John is such a good person.

~ Ric

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

"What is a recent success for you?"


"First failure, then success."


Is it really failure the first time you try something and don’t succeed? It’s really more of a test run. Like when you were kids and you tried the hot wheel car on the track the first time and then you had to readjust the track a bit because the car flew off the track. How many times did Edison try to make the lightbulb before it finally worked? 

John tries hundreds of scenarios before coming up with a plan and that doesn’t mean the plan doesn’t need tweaking. It’s just part of the process. The important thing is do not give up. And with John there is no quit.

 ~ Ric

I don't know anything about singing, but I do know about trying to get a bunch of people with different ideas, talents, and skills onto the same page. It's like herding kittens and puppies. It can be rewarding in the end, sure, but the effort is exhausting.

And then along came Ric. We're so different, and we approach life in nearly opposite ways. But somehow, it works for us. More than that, we thrive from it. It's as if being free to be ourselves empowers us and makes us even stronger for each other. Our differences becomes true strengths.

And that kind of harmony sounds beautiful, indeed.

~ John

Good News

Monday, May 10, 2021

"Is there anything on your calendar you are looking forward to?"

"Dreams and Actions."

I've always had a lot of dreams, but they seemed out of reach. And I've taken action all of my life, but mostly out of a need for self-preservation. And then along came Ric, and his love for me and confidence in me had me rethinking everything. Just like that, my dreams became something I could really achieve and they became more focused on good, powerful, uplifting things instead of just about survival.

Now, my life really is better because my dreams are supported by my actions and my actions help me achieve my dreams. What's not to love about that?

~ John

"Here comes the sun."

John gives me lots of sunny days! He gives me hope. He gives me laughter. He gives me kindness and love. I would call that sunny happy days. He helps me accomplish my goals. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in life. I love john with all my heart. He is my everything.

~ Ric

Friday, May 7, 2021

New Music Friday

Another week, another chance to find out what cool new music has been dropped into my e-lap by the folks at Apple Music.

Carly Pearce "Day One"

Cobi "Shadows"

Daniel Saint Black "Through Losing You"

Julia Cole "He Got The Best of Me"

"What do you need more of?"


"You're the sweetest."

The most important thing I've learned about being in a relationship with another person is recognizing that he may not communicate in the same way I do. But that doesn't mean that he loves me any less. With Ric, for example, I have to remember that his love language is different than mine. He may not say all the right words that I want to hear, but he never misses a chance to show me how much he loves me by taking care of me, making special meals just because I mentioned some particular food, etc. He says "I love you" all the time through his actions. And that makes him the sweetest!

~ John

"All find what they seek."


This is so true. If you seek the truth, you’ll find it. If you want to believe lies then you’ll find Fox News and News Max and that’s what you watch. If you want to find love then you’ll be loving and giving. If you want to love just yourself then you become selfish and center your life on only yourself. You can attract what you put out there. I must have been putting out some pretty good stuff because I found John. He is loving and giving and truth focused. He is the best person I’ve ever found.

~ Ric

Thursday, May 6, 2021

"What do you know well enough to teach?"


"Bright Side"


You can pretty much say John is the bright side. He’s always positive. I mean, there are tough times but he always tries to look at the good. He helps me not get down. My life would be a lot bleaker without him. And right now I’m looking forward to more time being with him! 

~ Ric

"A Great Mind."

Sherlock Holmes was correct, you know. Nothing is little and everything has the potential to be important. For example, it might seem that sitting on the back steps for an hour doesn't matter at all, especially compared to a weekend in the country or a vacation abroad.

But since I've fallen in love with Ric, some of the biggest experiences have come out of otherwise ordinary moments. Maybe it was a simple conversation that became a major decision. Perhaps it was the moment, itself, that started small but ended up being so important and powerful.

With Ric, every little thing matters. And I love that about him.

~ John

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

"What do you want your partner to always remember?"


"Easy as 1, 2 , 3"


Everything takes work. If you want good results, you have to plan and work at things. However, that said, loving John is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. He is easy to love because he is so selfless. When two people put each other first, that is when love works. I trust he has my best interest at heart, and he does the same. We don’t have to compete. The only work that we do is to try to make each other happy, help each other reach our goals, and listen to each other. Loving John is the easiest and most rewarding thing in my life!

~ Ric

"Glass Doorknobs"

Another Wednesday means another chance to draw a card from my Grateful AF deck and see what it wants me to appreciate today.

This one is working for me on two levels, at least as far as gratitude goes.

On one hand, I get it. Every door that I walk through takes me to a new space and a whole new world of possibilities. I'm grateful for that reality and those possibilities.

On the other hand, there is the literal glass doorknobs all over my home and what they mean to me. Our house was built in 1930 and many of the doors still have their original glass doorknobs. Every time I see them and touch them, I can't help but think about all of the other hands that have touched these same doorknobs. There are the friends that Ric and I have invited into our homes, of course. But what of all the other hands dating back to the people who literally hung the new doors in the house as it was being built? And what of all of the other hands that have turned these doorknobs in the ninety years since the house was built?

In a way, I am more a custodian than an owner. And when my time has come and gone, other hands will touch the same glass doorknobs and think, "who else was here before me?"

It's a privilege to be a single link in this long chain. And for all of that, yes, I am grateful AF.

"Nothing is impossible."

There were so many things in my life that seemed impossible, but then I met Ric and all of that changed. I'm in love and loved, we have a wonderful home, we live in a wonderful place, and we're fortunate to have a circle of amazing friends here, across the nation, and around the world.

Life can feel overwhelming and difficult, but happiness and joy are out there. And I'm so grateful to Ric for helping me bring those things into my own life.

~ John

Tuesday, May 4, 2021

"What is the biggest lesson you have learned this year?"


"Creativity takes courage."

I used to have a very simple idea of creativity. I saw it in those who sang songs or wrote movies and plays. If you did those things, you were creative. Simple, right? Too simple. 

As an adult, I really began to appreciate the complexities of creativity. And then came Ric. And he is truly one of the most creative people I have ever known. He sees things that aren't there, yet, and then he does whatever it takes to make them a reality. And he has the courage to pursue those things even when others can't see his vision or understand his plans.

He is clever and artistic, passionate and committed. And those all combine to give him the ability to create art, food, and sometimes even entire rooms. There is just no limit to what he can create. 

~ John

"Let go & grow."


Letting go.

If the opposite of love and hate is ambivalence then the opposite of caring about someone is not caring at all about them. I know you can’t forget experiences but you can stop letting them affect you again. You can stop feeling the pain of them. It takes time, and will, and effort. 

John and I (and everyone) has experienced some truly awful things. Leaving those experiences behind us doesn’t mean forgetting they happened, it means not letting them affect us anymore. Not letting those experiences define us lets us move on and grow. 

~ Ric

Good News

Monday, May 3, 2021

"What would make you happier?"


"Reach for the stars."


In John I touched the stars. He’s my best friend, my ally, and the love of my life. He is my favorite person and my confidant. He knows my secrets, my terrors, my hopes and joys, and my fears. He is my everything. He is my sun, moon, and stars.

~ Ric

"The time for action is now."

I'm a planner. I like to make lists and charts that help me make the most of everything while eliminating any chance of risk or error. But all of that planning takes time and energy, and sometimes that takes away from the very thing I am trying to do.

But not Ric. Sure, he plans when he needs to. But mostly, he is all about taking action. "Enough talk," he says, "let's just go." And we do. And it's wonderful.

Ric is my reminder that sometimes, the best things can happen when you just let them.

~ John

Meme Monday