Double Digit Long Run!

Today was the third long run of our training and the first to go into double digits. It was ten miles at a comfortable pace and it felt pretty great.

Ventura, here we come!

In Tough Negotiations, You Need An Ally.

Everyone knows, when you're in a tough spot, you're more likely to succeed if you have someone on your side. And that holds true for business dealings, buying a home, or even purchasing a car.

This summer, I am training for the Ventura Marathon on September 7th. That means early morning speed work, slower pace miles, and long runs on Saturdays. That means that several times each week, I'm going to face a tough negotiator.

"Let's sleep in today. We can run the miles tomorrow."
"Ugh, it's Friday. I deserve to go out tonight with friends. What's one long run, anyway?"
"It's only a five mile run. It doesn't matter if you skip it."

Yep, these negotiations will be tough. Fortunately, I've got someone on my side.

Meet my marathon training buddy, Sandy.

She and I have committed to a summer of training with each other, and we aren't cutting the other one any slack. We promise to run our three training runs each week, on pace and as scheduled.

And it's already making a difference for me. She and I are in our third week of training, and more than once I have completed my scheduled run only because I didn't want to have to text her and say, "I skipped it."

It's crazy, right? I'll be better to a buddy than I am to myself. But I think we're all like that in a way. So this works for me and I'm going to stick with it.

Sandy, my friend, thanks for already helping me improve as a runner. And come September, when you and I are flashing our beautiful, shiny new marathon finisher's medals, we'll both know that we made it together!

Of Marines, Physical Fitness, and Art.

Wait, what? What kind of title is that for a blog post?

Trust me, it will make sense by the end.

Time and time again, I tell myself to focus on the positive and not be drawn into pointless political debates. Sometimes I remember, sometimes I forget. But it really is a self-perpetuating thing, where commenting on one thing leads to another and more back-and-forth and suddenly, I've been arguing for hours and accomplishing nothing.

But this is a new month and I am going to challenge myself to go all of June without a political post, comment, or discussion. When those kind of posts show up on my Facebook newsfeed, I'm going to do this:

And just like that, the temptation goes away. I mean, I can't comment on what I can't see, right?

Instead, I am going to focus on three things that do make a difference in my life:

Marines, because this month is my reunion in New Orleans and I will be sharing updates from the reunion and then memories afterwards.

Physical Fitness, because my 90 Day "Road to Ventura Marathon" challenge begins the day I return from New Orleans and I will be posting to keep myself accountable.

Art, because there are so many amazing and beautiful works of art out there (paintings, sculptures, books, etc), and I know so little about it. I want to feel like I have actually learned something, educated myself, and gained a greater appreciation for artists.

So, that's the blog title, "Of Marines, Physical Fitness, and Art." Because Spring is turning into Summer, and I would like to be a better me at the end of the month than I was when it started. And consciously choosing good things for my mind (and soul) will go a long way towards making that happen.

And you? What are your plans for June? 

Rules for Falling in Love

 

Honoring Our Nation's Military

This weekend, this nation will observe Memorial Day. At some point throughout the weekend, some well-meaning friend will take the opportunity to thank me for my service as a United States Marine. While I appreciate their words, I feel compelled to clarify for them the distinction that Memorial Day holds.

As a nation, we have three distinct holidays that involve the military:

• Memorial Day
• Veteran's Day
• Armed Forces Day

Memorial Day
Memorial Day is the day we honor those who have died while serving in the military.

Memorial Day is observed on the last Monday of May (today).  It commemorates all men and women, who have died in military service for the United States. Many people visit cemeteries and memorials on Memorial Day and it is traditionally seen as the start of the summer season.

Veterans Day
Veterans Day is the day we honor those who previously served in the military.

In the USA, Veterans Day annually falls on November 11. This day is the anniversary of the signing of the armistice, which ended the World War I hostilities between the Allied nations and Germany in 1918. Veterans (former members of the armed forces) are thanked for their services to the United States on Veterans Day.

Armed Forces Day
Armed Forces Day is the day we celebrate and thank those who are currently serving in the military.

This holiday is celebrated third Saturday of May. It is a day to pay tribute to men and women who serve in the United States’ armed forces. Armed Forces Day is also part of Armed Forces Week, which begins on the second Saturday of May.

Please know that thanking someone for their military service is a kindness that is appreciated year-round and should not be limited to any one day. But on this weekend specifically, when we honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice in defense of this nation, it's important that we know what we are doing and why.

Tread Carefully.

It's been a difficult week. So many different reasons, but the take-away for me was a reminder that sometimes I need to step outside of my own life and be mindful that other people are dealing with their own problems. The happiest friend I have may be the one struggling the most.

That lesson played out repeatedly with different friends and different situations, but the message was always the same: tread carefully, for everyone is working through their own pain.

Fast forward to today and the realization that I'm nowhere near as wise as I think I am. Or more accurately, I'm nowhere near as empathetic as I thought I was.

I saw on article this morning about a judge who was extremely lenient in sentencing a convicted drunk driver. Reading it just made me mad, and I decided to share the link on Facebook with my friends. Not surprising, the post kicked off a conversation amongst several of my friends.

Now, I'm not saying that I should have seen this coming, because I have many Facebook friends and don't always know everything about this lives. But, I am bothered that the thought never even occurred to me that it might be a very painful subject for some friends to discuss.

People have strong opinions about drunk drivers. And sometime, those opinions are formed by direct experience. Today, for example, I learned that a Facebook lost his brother to a drunk driver. As you can imagine, the experience was painful for their entire family. And there I was, telling this friend what the judge should have done, how it should have been handled, and about the possible future consequences of this person receiving such a light sentence.

Seriously? Pretty sure my friend knows all about that and could teach me a great deal about it.

I share this blog not to make their pain about me, but rather as my own reminder to tread carefully in public conversations. People bring their own frames of reference to difficult topics, and I would be better off learning to ask questions, encourage open conversation, and listen to what others have to say before spouting off on every topic like I'm an expert.

"I'm Still Here."

It's been a tough few days for so many people that I care about. Lies, illness, even the deaths of a friend and of a parent. And my heart breaks for the pain that they are enduring right now.

But they are strong, each of them. They are surrounded by people who love them and they will get through all of this that is happening. They have to, because in spite of the pain, this life is still beautiful and amazing.

Hang on, friends. This will all pass. And there's no way that it's stronger than you.

I'm okay, I'm alright
Hurricanes and trainwrecks only last one night
Would you believe all I've been through?
Held the hands of tempted fate
Oh, if you only knew
What it costs, how I paid
What I got, what I gave

Chorus:
I'm still here...
After the heartache, after the storm blew through
I kept me and it saved me
I'm still standin', right where you left me
On a cold dark cloud, with nowhere to fall but down
Like a single, naked unrelenting tear...
I'm still here

There was darkness, all around me
There were times that I was sure I was drowning
There were people, who tried to reach me
But no matter how they loved me, I kept sinking
When I got tired of my own hell, I reached inside and I saved myself

This time I can survive
I ain't dying on nobody else's cross
I ain't sufferin' no more unforgiven loss
Oh, no

I'm still here...
After the heartache, after the storm blew through
I kept me and it saved me
And I'm still standin', right where you left me
On a cold dark cloud, with nowhere to fall but down
Like a single, naked unrelenting tear...
I'm still here
I'm still here

It's Ric By My Side.

This is my husband, Ric, and I, on an early vacation to Palm Springs. In this photo, we're side by side. And for the last seventeen years, that's how it's been.

When I found the strength to walk away from a toxic and painful relationship, it was Ric by my side. He showed me what it meant to love, and to be loved, and to find happiness again.

When I spent the first night in our new home and felt, finally, like I had found my place in this world, it was Ric by my side.

When I accepted a job offer to move halfway across the country and start a life from scratch, it was Ric by my side encouraging me to chase my dreams.

When we came back to San Diego, again starting over, it was Ric by my side telling me that I had made the right decision.

When the longstanding cynic in me felt called to stand before friends and family and commit myself to one man for the rest of my life, Ric was by my side to exchange vows.

When I first gazed upon the beauty that is Yosemite, Ric was by my side.

When I first dared to rock climb, it was Ric by my side.

Skydiving? It was Ric by my side.

White water river rafting? It was Ric by my side.

Scuba diving? It was Ric by my side.

Celebrating - finally - being able to marry legally in the State of California? It was Ric by my side.

Through thick and thin, through moments of joy and moments of grief, through laughter so non-stop it hurts and tears so intense I thought my very heart was breaking... it's always been Ric by my side.

As I celebrate my anniversary today, I'll enjoy the love and support from friends and family. I'll visit with them, share stories of our lives together, and consider myself so very fortunate to have them around to make this life what it is.

But mostly, today and every day, it will be Ric by my side.

Husband of mine, this is for you:

"Right By Your Side"

Give me two strong arms

To protect myself

Give me so much love

That I forget myself

I need to swing from limb to limb

To relieve this mess I'm in

'Cause when depression starts to win

I need to be right by your side

No one seems to touch me

In the way you do

Nothing seems to hurt me

When I'm close to you

I'm so full of desire

When you set my head on fire

I need to be right by your side

Every single one of us needs

Love, love, love

Everybody needs to give and receive love

Every single day can drag us

Down, down, down

But there's nothing left to fear

When love gets into town

I'm so full of desire

When you set my head on fire

I need to be right by your side

Don't Talk To My Friend Like That.

Imagine you are visiting with your friend at her house, enjoying drinks and catching up. Someone else shows up and starts saying these things to your friend:

"Wow, you got so fat. What the heck happened to you?" "Why do you even go to the gym? You quit everything you ever start." "Don't bother with the mirror. Of course you look fat." "You know you are the fat one in the group, right? They're laughing at you." "You look ridiculous trying to run." "Why sign up for that? You won't finish it." 

What do you do? If you're like me, you immediately stick up for your friend. You tell this other person (nicely) that they are being hateful and hurtful and should probably mind their own business or you tell them (not so nicely) to shut their pie hole before you put your fist in it.

Either way, you don't just sit there and let it happen. You protect your friend. And after the idiot leaves, you spend time encouraging and supporting your friend, convincing her that she can do anything she puts her mind to. You tell her that she should sign up for any race she wants and that you will be right there with her to cheer her on. You tell her the only thing ridiculous is being afraid to get out there, to run, to exercise, to make her life better. You make sure she knows that she has the power to make whatever change for the better she wants to make.

In other words, you encourage and support your friend. And you do it because she matters, because she is important to you and you hate to see her struggling or in pain. So why on earth don't you treat yourself with the same courtesy?

How often do you say those words above to yourself? How many times a day do you fill your head with "I can't" or "I won't"? What do you say when you see yourself in the mirror? When you try on clothes? When you get dressed to go out?

You would never let someone else talk to your friend the way you talk to yourself. You would say, loudly and directly, "don't talk about my friend like that." So the next time those negative thoughts come to your mind, send them right back where they came from. Learn to be a friend to yourself. Learn to protect yourself from your own hateful comments.

Is it easy? Heck, no. I've spent a lifetime running myself down, so learning to encourage and support myself still takes work. Old habits die hard, right? But I'm worth it. I deserve to be treated with respect, and that starts with my own thoughts and opinions about myself.

Today, I will protect myself the same way I would protect any other friend. Because I'm worth protecting.

Front Yard Silliness

"Then We Are Not Friends."

This was not at all the post I thought I would be writing this morning, but sometimes, the day takes me in a completely unexpected direction.

I logged on to Facebook to see this:

"Tearing down and tearing apart traditional institutions that have been pillars of our society and civilization. And I'm not just talking about marriage. Military being transformed."

This was posted by a friend, and a Marine Corps brother, as part of a bigger anti-liberal post. And all I could think was, do you NOT understand what this is saying to me? Me, who could now serve in the Marines openly instead of hiding. Me, who is now legally married to my partner of 17 years.

What it says to me, friend, is that these very positive changes for me are bad for this nation.

So, what I am saying to you in return is this: If you honestly believe this, then we are not friends. Because I don't need people in my life who think this nation is better off denying me the full rights of citizenship. Because I don't want people in my life who think that gay Marines who stand up to serve this nation somehow make the military weaker. And because I won't have people in my life who think that my marriage to my husband is anything less than a blessing in a world desperate for love and compassion.

I am not saying that all of my friends must share my opinions on everything. That's nonsense. I have very conservative friends, very liberal friends, and a bit of everything in between. And I respect the different opinions and often learn much from listening to them.

But this is more than a different viewpoint. This is as clear as it can be, that recognition of me just as I am is somehow a bad thing for this nation. And that's an opinion I don't have to invite into my life.

And for those who don't know, this is Ric, my partner since May 1997, my husband since July 2003, and my legally wedded spouse since July 2008. You can think whatever you want of him, but what you cannot do is change the fact that he is the single greatest person I have ever known and that loving him - and being loved by him - has made me the man I am today.

(If this post bothers you, and you agree that equality for gay men and women is somehow a bad thing for this nation, feel free to unfriend me. Because I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for what I'm not.)

(Originally posted on Runner12.com.)

"Then we are not friends."

This was not at all the post I thought I would be writing this morning, but sometimes, the day takes me in a completely unexpected direction.

I logged on to Facebook to see this:

"Tearing down and tearing apart traditional institutions that have been pillars of our society and civilization. And I'm not just talking about marriage. Military being transformed."

This was posted by a friend, and a Marine Corps brother, as part of a bigger anti-liberal post. And all I could think was, do you NOT understand what this is saying to me? Me, who could now serve in the Marines openly instead of hiding. Me, who is now legally married to my partner of 17 years.

What it says to me, friend, is that these very positive changes for me are bad for this nation.

So, what I am saying to you in return is this: If you honestly believe this, then we are not friends. Because I don't need people in my life who think this nation is better off denying me the full rights of citizenship. Because I don't want people in my life who think that gay Marines who stand up to serve this nation somehow make the military weaker. And because I won't have people in my life who think that my marriage to my husband is anything less than a blessing in a world desperate for love and compassion.

I am not saying that all of my friends must share my opinions on everything. That's nonsense. I have very conservative friends, very liberal friends, and a bit of everything in between. And I respect the different opinions and often learn much from listening to them.

But this is more than a different viewpoint. This is as clear as it can be, that recognition of me just as I am is somehow a bad thing for this nation. And that's an opinion I don't have to invite into my life.

And for those who don't know, this is Ric, my partner since May 1997, my husband since July 2003, and my legally wedded spouse since July 2008. You can think whatever you want of him, but what you cannot do is change the fact that he is the single greatest person I have ever known and that loving him - and being loved by him - has made me the man I am today.

(If this post bothers you, and you agree that equality for gay men and women is somehow a bad thing for this nation, feel free to unfriend me. Because I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for what I'm not.)

"Thank you."

Sometimes, the only thing to say is an honest and heartfelt "thank you." And that's what this blog post is all about.

Thank you, Nancy (and Shawn) Howard, for your kindness and generosity.

Thank you to my Marine Brother, Bruce, for making it easy for me to say "yes."

Thank you to Dee (and Tim and Taylor) for being a truly gracious and giving host.

Thank you to all of my Mostly-Middle-Aged-Maniacs teammates for running strong and making this relay experiene so great.

Thank you to Jeff for the city-to-city transit and for agreeing that good pictures are worth the time it takes to stop and get them.

Thanks to Paul and Tash for being truly amazing people and welcoming me into their home.

And as always, thanks to my husband, Ric, for encouraging me to take on new challenges. Life is pretty amazing with you, husband.

What You Aren't Seeing

One of the best things about having amazing friends is that they share the best quotes and images.

Case in point, from my friend, Nancy:

As I write this, I'm sitting in a beautiful beach resort, counting down the last few hours before I take part in the Lavaman Triathlon Relay. I've been here since Thursday evening, and I've been sharing photos and fun stories with everyone via Facebook. 

That's my Highlight Reel.

The truth? I am having a great time. But there's been more going on that I haven't shared. I won't go into detail, but I'll just say that two different friends were having pretty bad days on Friday. And it was heartbreaking for me to know they were hurting and I was so far away and unable to do anything to help them. (No, I don't think I can make everything right for everyone, but as a friend, I still wanted to be there to comfort them.)

In addition to what was going on with my friends, I had my own issues to deal with. I'm running this triathlon as a relay with two gentlemen that I met through the race organization. I just met one of them at the expo and the other I'll meet this morning. They are both trained and ready for their events, and they will set a high bar for performance. I hadn't even thought about a time goal, but now I know that my one teammate is hoping for a sub three hour finish. If our swimmer hits his 25-minute goal and our bicyclist rides in his 75-minute goal, I will have 85 minutes to run my 10k. Piece of cake, right? Sure, if they hit their marks. But if they don't, they will start chewing into my time, and that 85-minutes can easily drop down to 60 minutes.

And yes, I realize that a team goal depends on everyone doing their part, but the truth is, all eyes are on the last batter in a game, the last play by the quarterback, and the last swimmer on the relay. And now, today, it will come down to me delivering if we are to hit the team goal.

Am I worried? Oh, yes. I know that all I can do is my best, but that doesn't take the pressure off. I am stressed that I will cramp up, that my pace will falter, that the heat and humidity will take a toll, etc. If there's a reason to worry, I've found it.

Anyway, the point here is that if you were judging my life by what I've posted, you'd think my life was perfect. But there is always so much more going on than what is on the surface. When I posted the picture above on Facebook, I received several comments about me being awesome. But in the dark hours of the morning, I didn't feel awesome. I felt a little sick, actually, worried that I might let my team down.

I know. I know. I will do great, we'll do great, and the whole day will soon be a great memory and a reason to celebrate. But I wanted to share the backstory because it matters. If you are comparing yourself to me, or to anyone else, and you feel like your story is falling short, stop. Knock it off. You are comparing your moments of real-life worry and struggle to the best and brightest moments in someone else's life, and what's the point in that?

You're enough. You're more than enough, in fact. You're amazing. And you're awesome. And those moments when you're down and afraid and insecure? The fact that you fight through them and emerge stronger on the other side is just more proof of your own greatness. Don't forget that.

And now, it's time to prep for my run. Lavaman, here I come!

The Airport Dropoff

Just Stop.

I am asking all of my friends to "Just Stop."

Did you run today?
Yes, but just a 5K.

You look great. Have you lost weight?
Well, just five pounds.

Congratulations on the training.
It's nothing, I just started.

I didn't know you started running. That's great.
Oh, not really. I just run at a 12min pace.

What is wrong with us that we feel the need to minimize our accomplishments? Why must be so self-critical, even when someone is right in front of us saying something positive?

I know that I do this myself, and I'm going to work on eliminating that negativity from my life. It's not just a 5k, it's a 5k and it's awesome. It's not just five pounds, it five pounds that I'm proud I lost.

My successes deserve to be celebrated, not minimized or degraded. And the same goes for my friends. If I hear people taking that same cheap shot at themselves, I'm going to say something about it. Because life is too short to not be proud of ourselves every chance we get.

The Company You Keep.

Perhaps you've heard it before, but you really are the company you keep.

I hear it often. People tell me that I'm awesome. And they're right. (What, did you expect false modesty? Because that isn't happening.) I am awesome, yes. But more important than being awesome is understanding WHY I am that way.

Here's the answer: I'm awesome because I have purposely and specifically placed myself smack dab in the center of a group of amazing human beings. I have sought out, cultivated, and nurtured relationships with friends that expect nothing less of me.

In other words, I have surround myself with awesome people and work every day to rise to their level.

Just a few of the amazing people in my life.

What about you? What forces influence you?

Let's start with an easy source. Facebook. People love it, people hate it, but everyone seems to be on it. And it has become a part of most people's routine.

What happens when you log on to Facebook each day? What do you read in your newsfeed? If you're me, you read post after post from truly wonderful people doing what they can to have another great day. There's silly pictures, clever banter, and a lot of motivating and inspiring words that remind me to get out there and have a great day.

Of course, I live in the real world with real people, so not every post is good. Bad things happen and friends struggle with problems. Sometimes, they share those problems. Maybe they need help to find a solution or maybe they just need to vent. It happens, and both of those things are just fine.

But there is a difference in a person working their way through a tough time and a person who wallows in the negative. There is a difference in a person temporarily upset and a person who is always angry at the world. And there is a difference in a person who needs comfort and a person who is a black hole of emotional need.

I share these distinctions because I think people can get caught up in the negativity of others and not see the damage it does. It's so easy to read negative post after negative post, your mood getting worse and worse until you find yourself trapped in that same crappy mood.

Fortunately, there's a solution. Pay attention to what is coming from the people around you. Look for the positive, the upbeat, and the happy. Celebrate it when you see it. Notice the kindness of others and spread it around. Share the songs and the photos and the stories that make you smile. Be the positive force of nature you want to see in the world.

It doesn't mean dumping friends in need. It means helping them find a reason to smile, even if it's just for a moment. It means leading as an example, avoiding the temptation to see everything in the world in the worst way possible. It means not giving in to the anger and stupidity running rampant.

So, log into Facebook. Catch up with your friends. Join in the silliness. Be quick to laugh and slow to judge. Choose compassion over criticism. Choose happiness over anger. And choose to lead as an example. Believe me, the rewards are so worth it.

P.S. Thanks to my circle of friends for consistently bringing joy to my life. You help me be the person I want to be, and the ripple effects of that are truly amazing.

Yes, You Can Be A Success Story.

Not too long ago, I spent a year working for a health and fitness company. I had started there as a member and then became their Success Story Manager. I won't say much about the company or my time there, just that it wasn't the fit I had hoped it would be. But I wish them all the best and I still consider some of the members that I met while on the site to be among my favorite people. So all's well that ends well.

There is a specific reason I bring it up now, though.

One of the biggest challenges I had was convincing the powers that be that a "success story" was more than just those people who had lost half their body weight and were magazine-cover ready. Don't get me wrong, those people are truly amazing. But there are other success stories that deserved to be celebrated.

Jane loses 50 pounds. She still weighs 300 pounds, but her weight loss is enough that her doctor decides she is able to discontinue one of her blood pressure medications. That's a success story.

Joe loses 10 pounds. He still weighs 240 pounds, but he has successfully completed the Couch to 5K Program and is now working on his next challenge, running a 10K. That's a success story.

Mary hasn't lost any weight at all. She's just starting her journey. But she has spent the last week sticking to her plan to track her eating and to walk 10-15 minutes each evening. Yes, that's a success story.

And here's the kicker. We all love the dramatic weight loss stories. We see the before and after photos and we think, "wow, that's amazing!" But many of us can't see ourselves ever achieving that level of success. It's like trying to find the courage to sing out loud and having someone say, "just watch the Grammy's and you can see people doing it."

No. That doesn't help everyone. Some of us need to start on a smaller stage, so to speak. We need to watch someone sing karaoke in a darkened bar somewhere. That's a big enough leap for us but still one that makes us think, "yeah, I could do that."

Again, dramatic weight loss stories are amazing. Those people who accomplish that do so with dedication and commitment, and they are to be celebrated. Definitely.

But there is room for other success stories. Smaller successes, perhaps, but every bit as meaningful to those people on their journeys. So I share this blog to remind people that you are not competing with other people, you are challenging yourself to do whatever it is you are capable of doing.

Start a streak of eating healthy lunches for a whole week? That's success. Walk a full mile three times a week? That's a success. Whatever your first step is, take it. And be proud. And celebrate every bit of success as it comes.

And now, the kicker. The reason this came to mind? Because when I worked for that company, I remember telling my boss that I considered myself a success story for finishing a full marathon, even though I was never going to be one of those elite types featured in Runner's World magazine.

Never say never, right?

Joshua Tree National Park

Keeping It Real.

I stumbled across this article today and honestly, I can't stop thinking about it.

The message is that our bodies are wonderful just the way they are and we should celebrate what we can do with them instead of focusing on perceived flaws and imperfections.

I'm going to walk the walk and share a few of my own "bad" pictures, just because I can.

This was taken at my friend's wedding. My initial reaction was, "oh, damn, my neck is fat and my eyes have bags. I look terrible."

What the hell is wrong with me? This photo captured a moment of pure joy and silliness with a friend that I adore. It's a perfect summary of the amazing experience I had as part of his Steam Punk Wedding. How did I miss all that the first time I saw the picture? Because I was caught up in the supposed flaws of my body instead of seeing the magic of two friends together.

And another picture, even more recent.

My friend, Rik, took this photo as we were waiting to start our California 10/20 Run a couple of weeks ago. What did I see when he showed this to me? I saw my belly sticking out, back fat, a puffy face, and eyes hidden that disappeared behind the bags. Surprised to learn that I'm that critical of myself? Well, it's true. I am. It's something I work on constantly.

What did I miss? This moment was just before an amazing woman sang the National Anthem, before Rik and I started our trek into the mist, and before we enjoyed ten miles of running together, something we rarely get to do since we live on opposite sides of the country. This photo should have brought all that to mind. Instead, I chose to see the bad.

One more, from September.

This is me finishing the first leg of the Ragnar Relay Napa. I had just run across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco at sunrise, a true highlight of my running career. I was handing off to our next runner, my dear friend Tammy. This photo captured so many amazing memories for me. But what did I see? My fat stomach, my short legs, and my round face.

Sheesh, what was I thinking? I just finished running nearly five miles, including a portion through soft sand and another section of straight-up stair climbing. I kicked ass and had such a great run. What a fool I was to see this as a bad picture instead of proof of my awesomeness!

I can't explain how much this article from Runner's World has smacked me around this morning. From now on, I'm going to try to see the good that is captured in a photo and not focus on the silly things that don't really matter.

I'm going to work on seeing the real me. The amazing me. The me that runs relays and up hills and across bridges and full marathons. I'm going to see ME!