Finally, Together.

On Saturday, June 8, 2013, Robert Patriquin was reunited with the love of his life, Shirly Ann Patriquin. And finally, he was home again.

See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sun rise on a tropic isle
But just remember, darling, all the while
You belong to me

See the marketplace in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me

I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too and blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember till you're home again
You belong to me

I'll be so alone and without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too and blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
But remember, darling, till you're home again
That you belong to me

Some Gave All.

On the Fourth of July, we celebrate our nation's independence. On Veteran's Day, we honor all those who have served in defense of this great nation. But Memorial Day is the highest day of them all, because it is on this day that we remember not the joy of freedom, but the cost. All that we have and all that we are is defended, secured and guaranteed by the men and women who have paid the ultimate price.

So I understand and appreciate your sincere "Happy Memorial Day" greeting, but know that for me this day is not about happiness. It is about service, sacrifice, and a nation's heartfelt and sincere gratitude for those who gave all.

Happiness is a Choice.

The older I get, the more I realize that happiness is a choice. But sometimes, it's also an effort.

Thank you to my amazing cousin, Stacey, for sharing this image and these words with me.

Runner 12, Why You No Blog?

I can't believe that it's been nearly a month since I blogged. Since when have I been at a loss for words?

Stay tuned to this space, folks. I'll give my neglected blog a little attention this weekend.

"Because People Are Awesome."

What gets attention these days?

This politician does something stupid. This talking head says something stupid. And this "media personality" manages to say something dumber still. And then all of us cluck at each other in response, as if what we are arguing about makes any difference at all.

Personally, I've spent way too much time focusing on nonsense. And at the end of the day, it just leaves me frustrated. Who cares what these people say or do, when it has no real impact on my life at all?

You know what does matter? People doing good things. People being wonderful to each other. People choosing to make this world better. In other words, people being awesome.

I'm going to make a genuine effort to focus on the good rather than the bad, the inspiring rather than the heartbreaking, and the hopeful instead of the hurtful. I'm curious to see how that will help me change my own attitude.

For starters, I give you these examples of people being awesome:

• Dreams in Pictures
• Frazier Comes Through
• What homophobia?

Yup. Because people are awesome.

Finding New Solutions - Runtastic and MyFitnessPal

I've known for quite a while that I needed to switch Fitness and Health Apps, but I wasn't quite ready to make the switch away from the site I had been using. Wow. Now that I've changed, I can't believe I waited so long!

For my workouts, I'm using Runtastic. It's simple, easy to use, and I can add live workouts (running, biking) and add gym workouts (treadmill, exercise bike, strength training, etc). I really appreciate that it syncs with my other fitness app, MyFitnessPal (MFP).

And now, let's talk about that second app. MFP is slick. The integration between exercising and eating is fantastic. I love being able to see the impact that a good workout has on my available calories for each day.

First, I set up my profile. I put in my starting weight and the number of pounds I would like to lose each week. And then I start tracking.

Start of each day

Looking at the image on the right, you can see that at the start of each day, my numbers look like this: 1500 calories available to eat, 0 calories eaten, 0 calories earned from fitness activities. I do eat before I go to the gym, but I don't always track my food as I'm eating. Usually, I like to get caught up later in the morning. The first thing I log, then, is my fitness activity. And here's how that looks on the app.

After logging my run

You can see here on the left that I ran for 30 minutes, burning 521 calories. Those exercise calories get added to my daily "can eat" totals, so now I can have just over 2,000 calories for the day and still be on track to lose my forecasted weight for the week.

I love this. When I'm working out, I'm already imagining how my fitness time will bump up my available calories for the day. The harder I work, the more I can eat.

By the time I add my food and my fitness, I have a great look at the impact of my entire day. Here, you can see that I took in 1,701 calories for the day. Had I not worked out, I would have been over my calorie goal. But because I had the extra fitness calories available, I ate what I wanted for the day and still came in over 200 calories under my goal.

It really helps, because I'm also less likely to cheat with crappy food and useless calories when I am reminded in black and white just how much work I had to do to earn them.

Who's happy with his changes? This guy.

It's Time For A Change - Leaving SparkPeople

I've been an active Spark People user for nearly three years, and it's been an amazing experience. I have connected with a powerful and supportive community, made real changes in my life, and become a happier, healthier person. But, for reasons personal and private, I have decided that my time here has come to an end.

I will always have a special place in my heart for my time here. The tools and lessons learned here have truly changed my life, and I am grateful to SparkGuy for helping me become the person I always knew I could be.

I don't know exactly where I am going from here. There are many different health and fitness sites, and I'm not sure which one is the best match for me at this point in my journey. But the one thing that will remain the same is that I will continue to blog here.

I've changed a lot in three years. I have gone from this overweight, unhappy guy to a man open to all the adventures life has in store for me.

And there's still a world of fun just waiting for me!

So, thanks to all my Spark Friends for your amazing support. Hopefully, I'll see you around on my blog, on Facebook, or wherever I land next!

Just One Diet Coke

It's About Training, Not Weight Loss.

I've been skinny. 

I've been fat.



Really fat.



And I've been healthy.



Right now, I'm somewhere between healthy and fat. I have put on weight over the last few months, mostly because my food choices were terrible and my fitness activity was hit-and-miss. Since January 1st, I have run two different team relays, two full marathons, and a 10K on St. Patrick's Day. That seems like a lot, but it isn't. My daily training was non-existent. I showed up for the big events but completely blew off the routine running and strength training.

Poor eating choices. Missed workouts. Pfft, what did I expect? I put on weight. And now, I feel sluggish and out-of-shape.

Obviously, I need to do something about it. The old me would immediately get on the scale, assess the damage, and make a short-term challenge to drop the excess weight. It worked before, it will work again. Right? Wrong.

Sure, I lost weight. And I'm proud of that. But I'm in a different place right now. Yes, I'm carrying extra pounds. But I also ran a marathon this month. So my "out of shape" is very different than the "out of shape" of a few years ago.

This time, my plan is very different. I am not focusing on losing weight. In fact, I'm not even going to weigh myself. Why should I? My clothes fit tighter, my running pace is slower, and my weights are lighter. I don't need a scale to tell me that I need to improve.

Nope, this time I am going to focus on training. Not weight loss. Training. Oh, sure, I'll do the same things. I'll eat healthier, I'll make my workouts a priority and I'll run farther and faster. But I won't be weighing in every day. I'll do the right things and trust that my body will respond in the right way. The bottom line is, I don't want to be skinny. I want to be healthy. Strong. Powerful. And that will come.

And here I am this morning, fresh off a 5K run to kick-start my day. I think I'm on the right track!



So, what about you? Are you trying to shed pounds or are you building a healthier you? What are you training for?

Who's Running The Marine Corps Marathon? This Guy!

 

I wasn't sure if I was going to sign up, but when registration opened this morning, I found myself on auto-pilot clicking away like a madman. And I got in! 

Bring on the Marine Corps Marathon!

When Equal Isn't.

People are arguing before the highest court in the land to persuade the Justices that my husband and I don't deserve the right to marry each other in the eyes of the law. It's a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that my military service, my years of paying taxes, my lifelong allegiance to this nation... none of these guarantee that I am treated like a full and complete citizen. 

After sixteen years together, my husband and I are still strangers to each other according to the Federal Government. 

No. This man is many things to me - my husband, my partner, my strength, my best friend, my salvation - but the one thing he is not is a stranger. 

Today is bittersweet, indeed. 

Waiting On The Supreme Court...

It's tough to explain my emotions today. 

People are arguing before the highest court in the land to persuade the Justices that my husband and I don't deserve the right to marry each other in the eyes of the law. It's a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that my military service, my years of paying taxes, my lifelong allegiance to this nation... none of these guarantee that I am treated like a full and complete citizen. 

After sixteen years together, my husband and I are still strangers to each other according to the Federal Government. 

No. This man is many things to me - my husband, my partner, my strength, my best friend, my salvation - but the one thing he is not is a stranger. 

 

Today is bittersweet, indeed. 

Make Your Own Magic Moments.

Have you seen this video, yet? A guy gets a chance to play on stage with his musical idol and walks away with an amazing experience. See for yourself:

There are so many lessons here, and all of them are important. Even life-changing.

Imagine

• When he knew he was going to attend the forum with Billy Joel, he envisioned the chance to join him for the song. There really wasn't any reason to expect it to happen, but the chance was there. And that was enough.

Prepare

• Despite no real chance of this happening, the guy spent time practicing the song on the keyboard. If his moment presented itself, he wanted to be ready.

Ask

• Against the odds, he was presented the opportunity to ask Billy Joel to sing with him. So he did. And what happened? Billy Joel said, "okay."

Deliver

• And deliver, he did. He did everything he could to make this moment happen, and when it did, he played his heart out.

Some people will watch this and think, "oh, he's so lucky." Sure, there's an element of luck involved. I mean, not everyone there at the forum had the chance to ask a question. But this is an example of luck meeting preparedness. His earlier planning and his willingness to take a risk combined to deliver an amazing reward.

And it's not just a moment with a superstar. Each of us can make our own magic moments. We just need to imagine, prepare, ask, and deliver.

For me, running my first Ragnar Relay Race was a magic moment. When I first started working out, I had absolutely no expectation of being part of a 200 mile relay team. But I did imagine myself running faster and farther in the future. I had faith that I would get better if I just kept at it. And I did. I prepared myself for whatever was to come by running the miles, day after day and week after week. And months later, I stumbled across the RagnarRelaySeries website and asked, "what is this all about?" Then, with the right connection (thanks, Denise and Lisa!), I stepped up and took a leap of faith. I joined a team, showed up, and delivered.

And since that experience, running has taken me across the country, introduced me to (literally) hundreds of amazing people, and allowed me take part in relays, long-distance runs, obstacle courses, and crazy physical challenges.

It all started when I imagined something big for myself, because possible when I prepared, became a reality when I asked, and a success when I delivered. I made my own magic moment.

So, what of you? What will be YOUR next magic moment?

If You Don't Like It, Look Elsewhere.

Today's life lesson for me is simple. I am never going to please everyone else, and trying to do so will only result in me feeling physically exhausted, mentally overwhelmed, and emotional drained. And really, who wants that? 

Instead of spending time trying to give people what I think they want, I will focus on me. What can I do to be healthier? What will satisfy my own needs? What fuels my spirit and my soul? 

Perhaps you're wondering, how would that really play out in real life? Can a person actually get through the day focusing on actions that improve their life rather than reactions that help others? 

Yes, a person can. I can. And *YOU* can. And here's a real-life example for you to consider. 

Some people blog about their eating habits. Others blog about their physical fitness activities. Some share jokes or inspirational messages. And still others rant about people or things that bother them. In response to those different types of entries, people love to criticize. 

"Why do people post recipes? I can check the recipe section if want that." 
"Yeah, we get it, you work out every day. So what? We're tired of hearing about it." 
"That joke offends me." 
"I've seen that inspirational poster a hundred times today. People should stop posting it." 
"Stop complaining about your life. Others have it worse than you do." 

So you want to write a blog entry of your own but don't know what to do. How do you communicate your own thoughts without making someone else unhappy? 

Easy. You don't think about others at all. You write what is on YOUR heart, what is in YOUR mind, what matters to YOU. You act like a mature adult, focus on your words, and everyone else can take it or leave it. This is your journey, not theirs. 

Another example, this one personal? Sure. People tease me that I am always posting pictures of myself. I have been accused of being vain and full of myself. And I've actually been "advised" that people who aren't at their goal weight might be bothered by some of my photos. (Seriously. I've had all of those reactions over the last three years.) 

My response? "If you don't like it, look elsewhere." No one is forced to read my blogs, and if they are tired of my pictures, they have only themselves to blame for continuing to read my new ones. 

The message here is simple, my friends. You only have so much energy. Why waste any of it worrying about people that simply don't matter to your own success? Focus, instead, on you and your needs. 

Personally, I post photos of myself to remind me that I am no longer the man who hides from the camera. And that is a message worth hearing daily. 

 
(See? Smiling always makes a person look great!) 

Accepting vs Settling

There is a difference in accepting and settling. Acceptance says, "I appreciate who I am and what I have." Settling says, "this is as good as it will ever get." 

Today, I will accept the good in my life while continuing to strive for more. 

(And as it turns out, there is so much good in my life that I can ride out the whole day just appreciating that fact. True story. I hope that anyone reading this will take a moment out of their own day and enjoy all the great that they have, too.) 

And smile. It gives your face something to do! 

 

Who's got a big smile and a new Finisher's Medal? This guy!

This, my friends, is what "fighting my way back" looks like: 

 

I've had a very dark and gloomy couple of months, and I will be writing about it over the next week or so. But today, I'm going to celebrate that I have fought my way back and found my Spark again! 

Saturday was my slowest marathon ever, but it was one of the greatest running experiences I have ever had. And it was proof that it isn't about the time, it's about the run. 

Thank you, all of you, for giving me such great support while I've been struggling. You really are amazing! 

From a Big Crash to a Bigger Goal!

I had an amazing year in 2012.

I started 2013 with the Ragnar Relay Florida Keys and an amazing adventure with my Fat To Finish Line team.

And then, I crashed.

More details to follow, as I find the words to explain what happened.

Now, though, I am focused on rallying back for a big 2013. I've decided that this will be the very first time I have ever run 1,000 miles in a single year.

Ready, feet? Because we've got a lot of running to do!

Phoenix Marathon? Sure.

I've been sick the whole week, but I'm fighting my way back and feeling a little better today. Hopefully, by morning, I'll feel good enough to run my scheduled marathon. 

Let's do this, Phoenix! 

Our Team On The Today Show? Sure!

I am SO behind on my Ragnar Relay blogging. I have so much to share, but after the crazy week, I've been absolutely exhausted and haven't felt up to writing. But I will, definitely.

First up, though, is this amazing news. Our team was featured this morning on The Today Show. Seriously.

I was already on Cloud Nine about the relay experience in Florida, but this just cranks it up to a whole new level.

I'm going to go back and watch the video again. Is that weird?

The Adventures of Captain Awesome, Part I (Or, Shakes On A Plane)

I'm so excited, I'm practically trembling in my seat. After nearly a year of planning, it's happening. My teammates and I are meeting in Miami and running the 200 mile Ragnar Relay to Key West.

As I type this, I am on a plane from Houston to Ft Lauderdale. Today's travel day actually feels a bit like a Ragnar. My first leg was San Diego to Houston, and that started forty minutes late. My second leg is from Houston to Ft Lauderdale, and that started nearly an hour late. And my third leg will be the shuttle/cab/bus from the airport terminal to my hotel for the night. Hopefully, the last part of this journey will be simple, on time, and without further incident.

It's all a bit surreal at this point. I know that I am flying to Florida, running a relay race, and being filmed for our documentary (FatToFinish.com). But it is only beginning to sink in. This is not just "sometime in the future." It's this week.

Over the last few days, all of us on the team have kicked our Facebook team chat into high gear. We've been planning our team outfits, packing lists, and more logistics than I could ever have imagined.

And along with the expected excitement and nerves, I've had a bit of a surprise.

Fear.

Yep. Hard to believe, isn't it? But it's true. I'm not afraid of the race itself, since this is my fourth relay race. Back to back miles, running through the darkness, and a sleepless night? No worries at all. So what am I afraid of?

I worry that I'll somehow let my team down. I should be in better shape, perhaps. I'm making a documentary about people moving from being fat to being in shape, and I still feel like I have so far to go. I worry that my outgoing personality will come across as overbearing in person. I fear that my sense of humor will fall flat and I won't feel connected to my teammates. I am afraid that I will be out-of-sync with the other people in my van and none of us will enjoy my company.

It's crazy talk. Seriously. I know that. But old wounds are painful and scars run deep. There was a time in my life when I felt like the odd man out, and there is always the worry that I will feel that way again. What if everything I want from and for this team just doesn't happen?

I wonder sometimes, how long will these insecurities continue to surface? Because the reasonable and rational voice in my head knows that I could not find a safer, more accepting, more caring, and more amazing group of people than this team. Each of us has walked a journey that was at times painful and lonely. No one knows better than these eleven people the negative self-talk that is filling my head.

If there is any real difference in my life now compared to years ago, it's that the worry and fear that used to haunt me no longer has the power to cripple me. I still play those old tapes in my head, but I don't fall into total darkness. I am not my own worst enemy, anymore.

Over the last two and a half years, I've learned that feeling afraid is not the same thing as acting afraid. Instead of giving in, I dig deeper. I remind myself that being fearless just means being willing to take action in the face of fear. And this week, my action is to fly to Florida, engage on every level with my amazing teammates, and do the best that I can each time I run.

Am I at my goal weight? No, I'm not. Am I as fast a runner as I want to be? No, I'm not. Am I a role model for perfection in eating and exercising? No, I'm not.

But I am very happy with the weight I have lost. I'm proud of my transformation from couch potato to multi-marathoner. And I am a real person dealing with the pressures and demands of day-to-day living. Sometimes I am great, other times I am just hanging on. But I'm always determined to be the best me I can be.

My teammates nicknamed me Captain Awesome. And I'm going to earn that title every step of the way.

Watch me.