Me, Then and Now

September 2009 vs March 2011

[caption id="attachment_1710" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Yep. I like the difference."][/caption]

A Simple Request - I need your help.

It's free. It's quick. It's easy. And it's a big deal to me.

I am running my first half marathon on Sunday. I'm completely confident I can do this, and I'll cross that finish line even if I have to crawl. But, 13.1 miles is still a long way to run. And somewhere along the way, I expect my motivation will begin to falter. This is where you come in.

I am asking my friends to call my Google Voice number (619.630.4328) between now and Saturday morning and leave me a brief message cheering me on. On Saturday afternoon, I will download all the messages and add them to my iPod Shuffle so they will play randomly between my running songs during the race. One minute I'll be rocking out to Pink or Disturbed, the next minute I'll hear your voice encouraging me to get after it!

Oh, and one more thing. When I am running the event, I will have my music at a low volume so I am still able to hear the traffic and runner sounds around me. Please start your message by telling me who you are and speak slowly and clearly. You can say whatever you want, as long as it isn't a ten minute message extolling the virtues of sleeping in, walking, or lounging around. *laughing*

Thanks, everyone. You'll all be with me as I complete this milestone.



John

 

Pictures. We got pictures. Get 'em while they're hot.

For no real reason, new pictures of me... and even one with Ric.

[gallery columns="2"]

Shut Your Trap, Whiner!

Sometimes, a little tough love is needed.

My first half marathon is this coming Sunday, and I'm feeling confident with my training. I know I will finish this, no problem. And this week, I've been easy on myself with running. I did three miles on Sunday, planned an easy six miles this morning and another three coming up on Friday. Enough to stay warm and ready but not so much that I am tired for Sunday.

This morning, I woke up and got dressed right on schedule. But I made the mistake of checking my email on my way by my computer, and before you know it, more than 40 minutes had gone by. By the time I got out the door and to the gym, I was nearly an hour behind schedule. And if I run too far behind, I don't get back home after working out to see my husband before he leaves for work.

So, I'm on the treadmill, calculating how much time I would be able to run. I figure I can get 45 minutes in, maybe 50 if I rush my shower. I'm thinking, "dang it, this totally bites... it's so annoying!"

Just then, I looked up from my treadmill to the TV playing just above me and to the side. There was a show on about a children's cancer hospital, and the little boy on screen was showing the reporter his new artificial leg. Apparently, they had amputated from the knee down in an attempt to stop the cancer from spreading any further.

In that moment, I felt like the world's biggest piece of crap. Was I seriously whining and complaining that, because of my OWN unwillingness to get off the computer and leave on time, I was going to have to shorten my workout? This five year old boy will spend the rest of his life without his lower leg, and I'm whining about my schedule? Seriously?

Oh, man. In that instant, I felt so ashamed that it was almost a physical reaction. I thought I was going to be sick. I am blessed with great health, the ability to pay for a gym membership, and the freedom to come and go on my own time. Yet I was complaining.

I turned back to the treadmill and did a little math. Yes, I could shorten my run and finish on time. But shorter distances are only one way to lower a workout time. The other solution is to just run faster.

So I did. I ran with a new focus and a passion that has eluded me of late. I ran to celebrate my health and my life and all the good fortune I enjoy every single day. I ran faster than I have run in many, many years.

And I finished my six miles in 49:43. And as I left that treadmill, I said a little prayer for that young boy and all those others in his same situation. Because I already had found all that I could hope for.

And yes, I did make it home in time to see my husband off to work.



SDJ

Having Confidence vs. Having An Ego

Having confidence vs. having an ego

Having confidence in your abilities is an important part of life. But how do you know when you're crossing the line into building an ego? Someone who is always bragging about himself not only sours the relationships with those around him, but also develops his actions into a pattern that is hard to reverse. Do you alienate people around you with your ego? Have you crossed the line of confidence to egotistical? Instead of bragging about your accomplishments, discuss how you got there or the people that helped you along the way. This way you can share your success in an endearing way without making it all about you. Take the focus off of yourself for a moment and think about how your success can be a tool to help others achieve the same.

This was in an email I received from Spark People, and it felt like it was written just for me. I take a lot of grief from people for my

Yeah. I'm back.

I've been blogging every day at my SparkPeople site, and over the next few weeks, I will get those posts copied over here. But going forward, I will be posting them to both sites at the same time.

So, yeah. I'm back.

Speak. Stumble. Blame. Repeat.

Here we go again. Sarah Palin says something stupid. She gets called out for it. She "clarifies" her original comments and then blames everyone else for distorting her words.

Case in point. When the Supreme Court ruled for the Westboro Baptist Church, Palin sent this tweet:

Common sense & decency absent as wacko "church" allowed hate msgs spewed@ soldiers' funerals but we can't invoke God's name in public square

After the tweet, Palin came under fire for what seemed to most as her criticism of the ruling. In the face of the criticism, Palin now claims she was misinterpreted.

“Obviously my comment meant that when we’re told we can’t say ‘God bless you’ in graduation speeches or pray before a local football game but these wackos can invoke God’s name in their hate speech while picketing our military funerals, it shows ridiculous inconsistency,” Palin told TheDC. “I wasn’t calling for any limit on free speech, and it’s a shame some folks tried to twist my comment in that way. I was simply pointing out the irony of an often selective interpretation of free speech rights.”

For pity sake. It's the same shtick with her.

1. Fail to fully understand an issue.


2. Say something folksy and simple.


3. Blame everyone else for how your statement was received.


4. Launch inane tirade against the media, the Left, liberals, etc.

Here's an idea. Perhaps she should keep her mouth closed and her fingers off her keyboard until she takes the time to understand a situation. Then she could provide a coherent response and not have to issue endless "clarification" statements.

She won't, of course. She can't help herself. She is what happens when the MTV generation meets a little political power. And now, there is no microphone, podium or camera she isn't drawn to. But the rest of us don't have to keep tuning in.

Dehydration. Not Fun.

After my race Saturday, I didn't drink any water. I don't know if it was because I was so cold after the run that I didn't feel I needed it, or if I was just on a high after finishing and didn't think about it. But I drank a Diet Coke and some iced tea. That was it for the day. 

Stupid. 

Yesterday morning (Sunday), I woke up feeling like I had the worst flu/hangover combination ever. I was shaking and shivering, cramping all over, and unable to hold down any food. I felt so nauseous. All I could do was lie in bed, sip Pedialyte and water, and hope to drop off to sleep. 

It was truly horrible. I felt awful the whole day. And all because I didn't drink water. And the weird thing is, I always drink water. Every day. Tons of it. I have a big glass on my desk and next to my bed, and I sip on them all the time. I just let myself get wrapped up in the race and I never thought to drink water afterwards. 

Well, lesson learned, definitely. I won't make that mistake again. 

Super Spartan 8 Mile Obstacle Race

Saturday morning, I competed in the Super Spartan. It's an 8 mile obstacle race with all kinds of annoying ways to work your body. And what can I say? The race was everything I hoped for and more. And I feel like a rock star for running and finishing it!

Up at 5:30am. 44 degrees and raining. Hard. Yikes. Drove the hour and a half north to Temecula. More rain, and the temperature dropped down to 40. Arrived at the race site and thought, "what have I signed myself up for?!"

Our heat went off at 10am. And then we "enjoyed":

* A quick run along the lake


* A jump over the fire wall


* A blast from a fire hose and a dash through the cold water


* A couple of miles of crazy hills


* Serious, straight-up hill climbing


* An "Over, Under, Through" Wall


* A balance beam


* A muddy crawl under barbed wire


* More crazy hills


* An 8 foot wall


* A mad dash down the hill to the main area below


* Spear tossing into a target


* A cargo net climb


* A traversing wall



* Back up the mountain for more hills to climb


* And running along the backside of the lake


* And the downhills were steep


* More running on the back hills


* A 50 yard, tarp covered mud, rock and gravel crawl


* Dash back down the hill to the main area below


* Dead-weight lift



* Water bucket carry and tire obstacle


* Water obstacle


* Mental challenge with Rubik's Cube


* Slick mud wall


* Spartan fighters at the end


* A total of 8 miles of running


And all throughout, we had changing weather... rain, icy winds, then later, sunshine. It felt like a little bit of everything weather wise, and I loved it!

It was an amazing adventure and we will definitely run it again next year.

"You are so full of yourself."

Yep. Someone said that to me. And it was a complete compliment. Weird, right? I'll explain. 

This morning, I posted this for my status here on Spark People: 

"A 4 mile run? You bet. Because all this sexy doesn't just happen on its own." 

I received several laughing and joking responses back, as expected. And I also received this: 

"Are you kidding me! You are so full of yourself...I love it! You are the only one responsible for your own happiness. You are a star *******" 

This prompted a lot of internal discussion for me, but before I go any further, let me make one thing perfectly clear. My Spark Buddy that posted it meant it as a complete and total compliment. I know that. Let there be no confusion that I took it as anything different. 

That said, my thought process after reading it was really something. And as I ran this morning, I kept turning this over and over in my mind. And this is what I worked out. 

Old Me would have read that statement like this: 

"areyoukiddingme! YOU ARE SO FULL OF YOURSELF ...iloveit!youaretheonlyoneresponsibleforyourownhappiness.youareastar*******" 

I would have ignored all the fun and humor. I wouldn't have seen the compliments. I would have focused on the "criticism" and let it bother me. I would have read it as an attack, like someone was accusing me of being arrogant and self-absorbed. Old Me would purposely overlook anything good and only see the bad. 

But Old Me left last year. He was tossed out along with the thirty-five pounds of extra weight and the forty-three years of beating myself up. Old Me is just a memory, a reminder of a time when there was nothing I couldn't twist or distort into an attack on myself. And Old Me is my greatest reminder of all the years and energy lost, wasted defending myself from attacks that existed only in my mind. 

And New Me? New Me read that comment, chuckled, and thought, "heck yeah, I'm full of myself... full of sexy and fabulous, baby!" 

Thank you, KRAEG3, for giving me another reminder of how far I have come this past year. I've done more than lose weight. My inward attacks on myself are something else I am proud to say I have run off. 


(Originally posted on SparkPeople.com)

On Obstacles and Being Awesome

I'm training for my first Half Marathon, and today's run was an easy three miles. I woke up on time, but everything after that was a mess. 

* I forgot to fill my water bottle last night. No big deal, but my cousin is sleeping on the couch in my living room while visiting from Austin, so getting from my home office to the kitchen is a pain. But I did it. 

* I got back to my home office and remembered that my aunt and cousin had borrowed my Jeep yesterday, so my keys were hanging on the key rack... in the kitchen. So back I went. 

* Once again, back in my home office, I headed out the door.... only to see my husband's Jeep still parked behind me in the driveway from last night. I could move his car, but the extra set of keys are on the key rack... in the kitchen. 

No problem. I was a bit annoyed but knew I had a solution. I was only running three miles, and I know a course from my front door out to Park Blvd and back. Plus I have my iPhone which tracks time and distance, so I was good to go. 

* Except I loaned my second charger to my cousin yesterday. My only charger was on the iPad... which meant my iPhone's battery was nearly dead.

I had already updated my status here and on Facebook to say I was doing a three mile run. My friend posted back that I was insane for being up so early. I typed this back: 

"Apparently, you and the powers that be agree. Ric's jeep is parked behind my car in the driveway AND my iPhone isn't charged. I can't drive to the gym and I can't listen to music and track my time/distance running on the street. Looks like this morning's workout is pushed back to this afternoon. *sigh*" 

Immediately after which, I typed this: 

"As soon as I typed that, I realized it sounds like an excuse. Screw it. I know a 3 mile course and I can run one day without music. I'm outta here, be back in 30 minutes." 

And off I went. I ran 3.38 miles in 33 minutes, and the whole time I ran, I kept telling myself, "this is why you're awesome." 

There will always be obstacles. There will always be complications and interruptions and reasons to not do what we plan. Ultimately, though, we have to make a way. We have to commit to ourselves, to our physical health and emotional wellbeing. We have to decide what we want and not let anything or anyone hold us back. 

That is what makes the difference between reaching our goals and falling short. And that is what makes us awesome. 

SDJ 

Who's awesome? This guy! 
 

What My 5 Mile Run Felt Like.

How does it feel to run 5 miles on a treadmill? I'll share my running commentary from this morning: 

Speed 6.1 mph. 
0.00 - Okay, let's do this. Tunes on, attitude in place. Go! 
0.11 - Brrr. It's cold in this gym. 
0.26 - Ugh. Are my legs already stiff? 
0.38 - (looking out the gym window) Ooh, people on the bus! 
0.50 - Ten percent done. Go, Johnny, Go! 
0.96 - Sweet. Almost one mile down. 
0.97 - Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.... 
1.00 - Woo hoo. 
1.25 - Ugh. I hate this song. I need to remove it from this playlist. Let's see if I can skip it without falling off the treadmill. 
1.26 - Anastacia's "Sick and Tired." Yeah, baby. (singing) "Ooh, sick and tired of always feeling sick and tired....." 
1.37 - If this was a 5k, I'd be nearly halfway through. 
1.43 - (singing) "Walk, walk, fashion baby, work it, make that bitch crazy" 
1.50 - Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run... 
1.55 - 5k Halfway... ooh, that rhymes, 5k Halfway, 5k Halfway 
1.56 - Ok, that's a stupid rhyme. Quit it. 
1.57 - Hello, Running Zone. I feel it. I'm at the right pace, feeling strong, all systems go. This is the sweet spot. 
1.89 - Ooh, almost two miles already, 
1.97 - Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run... 
2.02 - Dang it. I missed the two mile mark. Meh, it's all good. 
2.25 - Still in the groove. I like this part. 
2.50 - Halfway done today, still feeling strong. 
2.97 - La, la, la, I just can't get you out of my head, la, la, la 
3.00 - Another mile bites the dust. Another miles bites the dust. 

Speed change. Down to 6.0 mph. 

3.10 - Yeah, that's a 5k. Easy, peasy. 
3.25 - Stupid calf. Stop clenching up on me. Oh, am I even breathing? Deep breath in, deep breath out. Make the oxygen go all the way to the calf. Is that how it even works? I can see Coach Nancy rolling her eyes and laughing at me as I explain my breathing plan. It feels like it's working. That's a good thing, right? Ooh, another bus. Hi, people on the bus! 
3.45 - Almost to three and a half miles, which means just a mile and a half to go. I can smoke that bad boy, no problem. 
3.53 - Oh, hello, cute guy I've never seen before. And of course, you're going to run on the treadmill next to me. And at this stupid angle, you can watch me and see my dashboard but I can only see your reflection in the mirror. 
3.55 - Yeah, cute guy. I see you looking. Yep, I'm still cruising along strong and feeling good. 
3.68 - Why did I put slow songs on this running mix? Really, Last Dance by Donna Summer. Yikes. How gay is this iPhone? 
3.93 - Bronski Beat and Cher? Gayest shuffle mix ever. I need to fix this. 
4.00 - Eighty percent through this run and I'm okay. Just keep going, John. Just keep going. 
4.13 - I Love The Nightlife by Alicia Bridges? Really? I love this song. I should totally change the lyrics and turn it into a running song. Like, instead of "I love the nightlife," I could sing, "I love my new life, got to cardioooooo, on the treadmill nowwwwww-wow-wow... oh, I love my new life, 'cuz I look good, in my gym clothes nowwwwww-wow-wow..." 
4.15 - I worry me. 
4.25 - Okay, I'm still kicking it. I'll crank up the speed my last half mile. 

Speed 6.5 mph. 
4.50 - Here we go. Go, man, go. 

Speed 6.7 mph. 
4.61 - Oh, man, flippin' half mile is long. Run, baby, run. 

Speed 6.9 mph. 
4.73 - Oh, this song rocks. (singing) One day in your life, will remind you, something something leave it all behind.... 

Speed 7.1 mph. 
4.85 - I'm doing it, doing it, doing it, doing it, run, run, run, run, run... 

Speed 8.5 mph. 
4.90 - Last bit. Sprint, baby, sprint! 

That's it. Me and my five mile run. There was more rambling and self-coaching along the way, but this is the best recap I can provide. Sometimes I felt slow, other times I felt fast, but I always felt I could do it. And that makes the difference, folks. 

Starting Over? No, you're not.

I keep reading people posting that they are upset because they are starting over. Maybe they lost a few pounds before and gained it back, or they started strong but have lost their motivation and stalled. 

I've been thinking about it, though, and I think they are all wrong when they say, "I'm starting over." I don't think that's true at all. I'll explain. 

As an example, imagine that someone said that you had to go back to high school and repeat all of those courses. Yes, you would be sitting in the same rooms and hearing the same lectures and taking the same tests, but YOU would definitely not be the same person you were back then. Your maturity and life's experiences would completely alter the experience. 

Or what if you had to take your drivers license road test again? Sure, you have to do all the same things as the first time you took the test, but your confidence and experience would make the whole thing much easier. 

It's the same with your journey to a healthier lifestyle. You are not the person you were in the past. You have suffered setbacks and enjoyed successes, all of which helped you grow and mature and become the different person you are right this moment. 

So don't beat yourself up with the, "oh, look, I'm starting over again and don't think I can do it." Because while it may have been something the old you could not stick with, the NEW you is stronger, smarter, wiser, and better equipped for the challenge. 

You can do it. The person you are right now, right this very moment, can do it. So stop looking backwards and focus all the energy on the path ahead of you. 

 

Happy 235th Birthday, Marines.

Today is the 235th birthday of the United States Marine Corps.

Today, I honor those who came before me, for they created and built the Marine Corps that I joined.

I honor those I served with, for they were the very life and breath of me while I was on Active Duty.

I honor those who served after me and those who serve even now, for they ensure the very future of our Marine Corps and our nation.

And I honor those "absent companions," those Marines who live now only in our hearts. May their service and dedication always inspire us to greatness.

Semper Fidelis, my Marine Corps Brothers and Sisters.


The wonderful love of a beautiful maid, the love of a staunch true man,
The love of a baby, unafraid, have existed since time began.
But the greatest of loves, the quintessence of loves,
Even greater than that of a mother,
Is the tender, passionate, infinite love, of one drunken Marine for another.

John and the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Here I am in Denver, being part of the entertainment before the start of the show.



Yep. If there's a good time to be had, count me in!

Things I Wish Someone Had Said To Me

My co-worker has joined 24 Hour Fitness and signed on to Spark People. I’m happy for her, because those are the same two actions that started me on my own journey to a healthier lifestyle. 

Talking with her about her first steps has me thinking about my own. And that has prompted me to write this blog entry, “Things I Wish Someone Had Said To Me.” So here, in no specific order, is my list. 

*** Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good. Yes, there are professionals who can teach you the perfect way to train, to workout, to eat, to cook, etc. And one day, you may want that sort of expertise. But starting out, it can be overwhelming. Just remember that no matter what you are doing to improve your health, it totally beats the nothing that you used to do. 

*** Don’t waste energy hating yesterday. Yes, you could already have that perfect body if you had started training ten years ago. But you could also have wasted another ten sitting on the couch. Instead of beating yourself up for not acting sooner, be grateful you have the sense to start now. 

*** You are not alone. No matter where you are on your journey, there are others ahead, alongside, and behind you. You are surrounded by people dealing with the same problems and struggles. So reach out. And let others reach out to you. 

*** Weight loss is not an exact science. Yes, it’s a matter of burning off more calories than you take in, but it isn’t as easy as a math formula. Our bodies are so complex and there are so many variables. You may work like crazy and gain a pound, then slack off and drop two pounds. It can’t be about chasing a number on a scale. Eat healthy, be active, and repeat consistently. The weight will come off. 

*** Celebrate the victories. Drinking enough water every day for a week is a reason to be proud. So is choosing an apple over a candy bar or a brisk walk instead of junk food and a nap. There are so many things you can do on this journey to a healthier you, why not celebrate every single one of them? 

*** Use Spark People. Make buddies, join teams and challenges, and let the Spark Points guide you through every cool part of the website. There is so much great information here and the encouragement and the motivation can make the difference between sticking with it or quitting. 

There are more that I would say, of course, but these are the basics. So what about you? If this list was mandatory reading for anyone starting out, what am I missing? What helpful advice do YOU wish someone had given you? 


(Originally posted on SparkPeople.com)

There's No Crying On The Treadmill.

Well, apparently, I missed that memo, because today I most certainly was crying on the treadmill. 

First, some background. I grew up skinny and stayed that way through my school years and the Marine Corps. And then I started adding a couple of pounds every year and somehow, fifteen years passed and forty pounds stayed. 

In 2006, I got myself back to the gym and lost a total of twenty-seven pounds. I was a healthy and happy 183 pounds and was feeling great. I was even running, working myself up to a record 6.71 miles in sixty minutes. Life was good. Then, in early 2007, I was diagnosed with adult whooping cough (pertussis) and was out on disability for nearly two months. My workouts all came to a halt, as did my recreational scuba diving and bike riding. It was literally all I could do to breath while walking, let alone while doing anything else. 

And the weight started to come back. Even after I recovered, I stayed trapped in that "poor me" slump. I didn't want to work out. I didn't care if I ate right. My eating habits were terrible, my weekends were spent out drinking and inhaling crappy junk food, and there was absolutely no exercise. 

By this past January, I had gained back all I had lost plus another ten pounds. At 43 years old, I was at a lifetime high weight of 220 pounds and wondering what was going on with my life. I looked in the mirror and saw a stranger there. I looked at photos and couldn't believe I was that person. I was fat, terribly unhappy, and feeling like a complete slug. 

Enter Spark People. I had joined a year earlier but didn't really get involved with the site. But I came back to it and decided to give it a real shot. I started tracking my food intake and was shocked to learn just how many calories I was eating every day. I used the Spark Points as a guide to lead me around the different areas of the site. I read and then participated in message boards. I joined Spark Teams. And I started making Spark Buddies. The more involved I got, the more I wanted to stay involved. 

My interest and commitment fluctuated through the first half of the year. I lost the same ten pounds again and again, never staying disciplined enough to lose it for good. I let work distract me, thinking that I didn't have the time and energy to focus on both. But I was mistaken. It was only when I put myself and my health first that I truly had the energy required to do all of the other things I needed to do. 

In late June, I decided to make a complete commitment to myself and my own wellbeing. I set myself up on a regimented 30 Day Kick Start program, monitoring every bite I ate, forgoing all junk food and alcohol, and working out every day. I was 212 pounds and laser-focused on getting under 200. Turns out, it didn't take thirty days. It took about three weeks for me to hit the magic number and enter 1-derland. And it felt amazing. 

For the rest of July and all of August, I was consistent with my workouts and my healthy eating. The pounds continued to come off and I got down to 187.5 by the first week of September. I had lost over thirty pounds and it was finally showing. Friends and family complimented me on my success. Co-workers noticed the changes. Everything was going great. I was working out two to three hours a day, And then, suddenly, getting up for the gym was harder and harder. I felt burnt out, like I had given all that I could. I decided I could coast for a while. I stopped working out, only running three times over three weeks. I still ate fairly well, though I let myself eat fast food more often. I was maintaining, hovering between 188 and 193. 

I let myself have the time off. And I don't feel guilty or like a failure. I wanted time off from the gym and I took it. I wanted to sleep in and I did. I wanted different things and I let myself have them. And through it all, I ate well enough that my weight remained fairly constant. But I knew that it was temporary. Weighing in the high 180's is not where I want to be. 

And so, I'm once again focused. What I want is to feel strong and lean and fast. And that will only come if I am willing to work at it. So far this month, I have been spot on. I'm back at the gym, mixing up my cardio, and feeling in the groove. And today... well... today was my biggest challenge yet. I decided that today would be my long run day to see what I could do. I challenged myself to double my longest run. I was confident that I could run a 10k in less than an hour. Yep, I was going to run faster than six ten-minute miles. 

I stepped on the treadmill determined to make it. I started out strong, completing the 5k in just under thirty minutes. So far, so good. And after that, I knew I was more than halfway through and I was not going to let anything stop me. At mile five, I was surprised to hear myself with an out loud, "yes!" that startled my running neighbors. And at the six mile mark, it happened. 

It caught me by surprise, in fact. One moment I was running, listening to my music and thinking, "sweet, I'm almost done!" And the next thing I knew, there were tears welling up in my eyes. I was so happy, so proud of myself, so top-of-the-world for setting a specific goal and not quitting. And then I was laughing out loud at myself and my own emotional overload. 

So yes, folks, there is crying on the treadmill. And I don't apologize for it and I certainly am not embarrassed by it. For me, it's proof that I can still be surprised by my own accomplishments. I can still rattle my own cage and shake things up. 

I'm alive. And I'm not slowing down. 

Me, after my run. I blame the goofy smile on all the endorphins. 

 

The State of the Body

It's been three months since I started my "build a better body" regimen. And this is a visual display of how I'm doing:

[caption id="attachment_1636" align="alignnone" width="1024" caption="The me I used to be and the me I am today."][/caption]

Conceited, much?

This is my current Spark People and Facebook status: 

"San Diego John is packing a gym bag for after work today. Because we both know, all this sexy doesn't just happen." 

I posted it this morning on my way out the door, and by the time I got to work, I had a message from a "friend" who said, in her oh-I'm-just-looking-out-for-you snotty sort of way, "I know that you are being funny, but other people might read it as you being conceited. I would want to know it was being read that way so I could delete it." 

Very passive-aggressive, huh? Play the friend and pretend that you are looking out for my best interests, yet still get to call me conceited, tell me I should change my status, and criticize me for being confident. 

My response to my "friend"? "Thanks for the heads-up, but I won't be changing my status. Like the old saying goes, those who don't understand me won't be swayed by an explanation and those who do don't need one." 

I tell myself things like "yeah, I'm all that today," because I need to hear it. And I deserve to hear it. And why the heck not? What is the point of beating myself up by focusing on my extra pounds, or my height (darn you, 5'8"!), or any of a dozen other criticisms? None of those make me feel better, none of those improve my attitude, and none of those make me more enjoyable to be around. 

Instead, I'll focus on all that is fantastic about me. I am rockin' my 501 jeans today, I'm feeling strong and healthy, and I'm smiling at everyone I see because I'm in a good mood. And heck yeah, all that is sexy, indeed. 

So if you're wondering if your posts and your status updates read as you being too full of yourself, stop. It's your status. It's your blog. They are your message board posts. Why on earth not use those as opportunities to celebrate and cheer and enjoy who you are?! 

Let other people be responsible for what they choose to read. If they don't like it, tell them I suggest they learn to *skim and scroll*. 

You just keep pumping yourself up any way, any time, and at every moment possible. You deserve it!


(Originally posted on SparkPeople.com) 

Bobbie Laid The Blues On Me

I'm that guy. I admit it. I have mad crushes on many people. And I love being star-struck. I am so impressed by songwriters and singers and playwrights and actors who can reach deep into my soul and leave me breathless. And in my life, I have been fortunate enough to meet several such people. Years ago, I sat face-to-face with Janis Ian and interviewed her for the San Diego Gay & Lesbian Times. (You can read that interview here.)

And now, I have Facebook to thank for bringing many of these artists even closer. Are we real life friends? No, not really. But through the power of the web, I have been able to say thank you to artists who have given me so many hours of joy. Whether the songs made me laugh, dance, or cry, they still touched me and I'm never quite the same after hearing them.

My newest crush that has reached out to me? The beautiful and talented Bobbie Cryner. As crazy as it is for me to believe, I understand that not everyone knows this artist. She is an amazing singer, songwriter who has yet to receive the commercial acclaim she so richly deserves. Really, what's not to love about tracks like these?







And this song written for Trisha Yearwood:



Recently, I found her on Facebook. I sent her a friend request, not really expecting she would accept. And when she did, I assumed it was an assistant or fan club manager running her page. Nope. It was the one and only Bobbie Cryner. Seriously, how cool is that?

And today, I received a message back from Miss Cryner thanking me for being a fan. There was a bit more to the note, but the details are just for me. I'm just bragging and showing off a bit, and sharing with everyone how cool I think this woman is. And soon, when her new CD comes out and she finally breaks huge across radio, I'll be the guy telling everyone, "I knew her when! I knew her when!"

Thank you, Bobbie Cryner, for two CDs of music that have been played more times than I can count. You keep making music and I'll keep buying it... and shouting out loud about it to all my friends.

John

P.S. To my friends who are wandering if I have gone completely round the bend with a celebrity crush, don't worry. Just remember the last time you saw a movie, or a play, or heard a song, and thought to yourself, "man, that is serious talent." That is what Bobbie Cryner is to me, and I am happily starstruck by anyone who brings that much joy to so many.