While the rest of the country debates the artistic merits of New Moon, I am focusing instead on what really is important about the film. Yes, it's all about the pretty boys and handsome hunks.
Of course, there's Robert Pattinson, shown here with an odd set of splotches on the photograph.
And there's Taylor Lautner, the jail bait turned super hottie.
But wait, there's more. There is the adorable Cam Gigandet.
And there's Kellan Lutz.
And of course, the Wolf Pack. For reasons I still don't understand, these guys spend most of the movie running around wearing only short pants.
And there you have it. Ignore everything else about the movie, just watch the hot guys, and you'll get through the two hours just fine. Oh, and to my straight guy friends, I say avoid this film at all costs. There's nothing here for you.