"I really appreciate it when you ________."

"Do it with all your heart."

That’s the way John does things, with all his heart. He loves me, his friends, his causes, his work, and everything else with all his heart. I think that is why it really hurts him when someone betrays his trust. He has the biggest heart and acts on his feelings. I know I am so lucky to be loved by him! 

~ Ric

"Stay cool."

 

Is there anyone cooler than Ric? In the ways that count the most, I mean. The man has done cool things his entire life, and he's also made sure that other people felt invited to be just as cool. Want to rock climb? No problem. Ric has enough gear for a small classroom and he's more than happy to teach you all that he knows about how to be a safe, smart, fun climber. That's what I mean when I say he's cool. And you know I'm right.

~ John

Meme Monday

"Accept the good in your life..."

Another Sunday morning, another opportunity to look back over the week and see what lessons I've learned from my Spiritual AF cards. Today, it's all about looking for the good in the world and encouraging more of it to flow in my direction.

I really do have so much good in my life. I have so many friends that support me in the things that matter to me. I have a job I enjoy, a home that lets me feel safe, and a husband who makes every single part of my life even better.

You know, John, you don't have to always judge yourself based on the bad things that have happened to me. You are so much more than the sadness, the betrayal, and the shame. 

John, you are surrounded by good. And it's not because you're lucky. It's because you are a good person who invites the same back. So wrap your identity in that, lean in, and continue to bring all of that to your life. You have long ago earned every bit of that goodness and joy.

I deserve to be happy, and I don't have to endure another moment of pain to earn the good. That bill is paid. And that feels #SpiritualAF.

"When were you the happiest?"

Affirmators for the Week Ending Friday, April 16, 2021

 My inspiration card over the last week:

So, how did I do?

This one was a tough one, and this was either the best or the worst week for this particular lesson. There were a few related events  that all presented me with the choice of either being authentic and vocal or staying quiet and feeling like I was not being true to myself. I chose to speak up and it wasn't completely well-received.

In hindsight, there were probably some things I might have handled a little differently. It didn't have to be quite so adversarial, and a little nuance might have made things easier. But I'm in it now and need to continue to see this through. I will make more of an effort to walk that line of staying true to myself while still remaining cognizant of the impact my actions are having on others.

It won't be easy but it will be worth it in the end. I can do this.

And a sneak peek at next week's card:

"Would you rather live in a big city, a town, or a rural countryside?"

"Fortune favors the brave."

Ric is one of the bravest people I have ever known. He is the first to step up no matter the obstacle, the task, or the challenge. He's comfortable anywhere out in the world, from lonely ranger cabins to isolated desert tents. He's fearless and I absolutely love that about him. 

~ John

"Dream Big"

I don’t think John dreams those big dreams like, "someday I will live in a mansion with swimming pools and travel the world and be filthy rich..."

I think he dreams realistically as large as he can. After all, all we want is to live a comfortable life, not an extravagant one. I think his biggest dream is that everyone will live a tolerant peaceful life based on truth and science. That is dreaming big! 

~ Ric

"Working hard or hardly working?"

"Party Time!"

Well, it’s not really party time, but compared to the entire last year, it sure feels like it is! Now fully vaccinated people can get together with other fully vaccinated people, inside and un-masked! For John, you know that’s party time! Our little pod will be fully vaccinated in two weeks!!! So it will be time to seek out those fully vaccinated friends and have a small house party. Its still a party! John is SO looking forward to this, and I am excited for him! John is Mr. Social Interaction so this last year has been stifling for him. To get to see friends in person again is something he has been looking forward to for a long time! PARTY ON JOHN (in your own small but enthusiastic way)! 

~ Ric

Throwback Thursday - A Very Wendy Weekend

It's Throwback Thursday, and today we're going back to July 2012. Our friend, Wendy, was visiting San Diego and we decided to crank up the fun factor to 10!

Ric started everything off with a mimosa brunch.

Wendy immediately began to question her fashion choices.

I, on the other hand, was confident in my Magic Mike outfit.

Must I even say it? We're adorable!

Andrea, Kelsey, and Wendy were all smiles.

The most fabulous server, Joyanne.

One of the greatest photos in the history of photos.

Last Call means nothing when you have a private cabana.

And Ric closed out the weekend with yet another amazing brunch.

It was just another wonderful weekend full of laughs, good times, and great friends. And looking back, I just remember the whole thing as one happy moment. I absolutely cannot wait to be able to spend time like this again when the world opens back up.

And Wendy? She really needs to come visit us again soon.

"Live in the moment."

This is such a good reminder for me. I'm a planner, which means that things can often get complicated as I work out all the details and watch a simple idea become more and more involved. But Ric has a very different approach. He is very comfortable just leaning into a moment and enjoying it. He doesn't miss what is happening because he's worrying about whatever is next. I could take a lesson there.

~ John

"If you could chat with your partner's boss, what would you say?"

 

"Let it Shine."

Even when he really doesn’t feel like it, John still lets his light shine. He works at making things better. Even when he is criticized about it (which really hurts), he still lets his light shine. He gives everyone the benefit of the doubt and even after some of those people turn out to be just bad apples, he carries on for those who deserve his sunshine. He is basically just a good person trying to be his best for himself and for those who need it. His caring has its limits, but they are far beyond any limits I have for bad apples.

~ Ric

"Feminist Men"

Another Wednesday means another chance to draw a card from my Grateful AF deck and see what it wants me to appreciate today.

This one is a little weird for me, because I feel like I am one of those Feminist Men. But I appreciate the spirit of the card and see beyond myself to the other men that this describes. And I've even called these same people out for praise in a Facebook Fan Boy Friday post last summer.

In this world, it is easier to turn a blind eye to the challenges and difficulties that other people face. And it's especially easy to ignore all that by just pretending it doesn't exist. And that's exactly how a lot of men choose to see - or, choose to not see - the way women are often treated by other men. But the good men... the men who are doing the right thing and acting the right way and doing what they can to stop bad things from happening... those men are the ones in the spotlight here.

• For standing up to your friends and family and saying, "knock that shit off"
• For speaking up in the workplace and saying, "you're wrong and you're way off base"
• And for stepping up when you see a woman in danger in a public pace

For all of those reasons and more, you are making a difference in this world.

And for all of that, yes, I am grateful AF.

"Saddle Up."

It's not just the literal "saddle up," although it is true that before meeting Ric, it had been decades since I had been on horseback and riding. But it's more than literal. Life with Ric has turned out to be so many different adventures - hiking, camping, rock climbing, skydiving, scuba diving, off-roading, etc. And I am so happy that he has brought all of these moments into my life. I don't know what's next, but I'm all in for the ride!

~ Ric

"What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday morning with your partner?"

 

"Find what you are afraid of..."

Absolutely not! We are not moving to a state that does not respect human life, equality and human values. We are not moving to a state that defies masking during a pandemic. We do not believe it is anyone's right to spread the virus and kill other people. We don’t believe in restricting voting so that only your side gets to vote. We will not be moving to a state whose agenda is to nullify our marriage. We will not put up with the entitled, Christian Right, lying, bigoted, misogynistic, hypocritical, anti-vaxing, science denying, hate mongers. We will not be moving to Toxicville.

~ Ric