Thursday, June 4, 2009

The bigger the decision, the easier it is to make.

Ask me about heading out for a beer and I will say yes. But ask me where and I will stumble. There are so many places, so many different options, and I want to choose correctly. But I end up overwhelmed by all the possibilities. It's not a big deal, and any of a hundred choices would be fine, but I still expend too much effort deciding.

Contrast that with the rather big decision of graduate school. Back in December, I made the decision that it was time to go back and I did. Just like that, no long internal conversations or pro/con lists to weigh my options. I just decided to go. And now, with the same clear head, I have made the decision to put grad school on the back burner. I'm not quitting, exactly, but I am definitely not going to continue right now.

When I started in December, I was working a temporary job that required little more than 40 hours a week. That job has since developed into a Corporate Controller position that requires much, much more of my time. More than that, my job allows me the freedom to do so manyof the things I have wanted to do professionally - teach, manage, organize, lead, create. It really is right where I want to be, and I would rather put my full talent and energy into that. Why work in classroom hypotheticals when I can do the same and more in a real world environment?

Ultimately, for such a big decision, it is easy to make. I am dropping out of graduate school. And I am doing so without a single negative thought in my head. The old me... the old "quitter!" "you never finish anything!" "sure, walk away!" me... has no power anymore. (Well, maybe a little. But I will no longer be emotionally controlled by old voices from my past.) The fact is, I am a college graduate who has worked very hard to get myself into exactly this professional position, and I am going to focus my efforts on doing the greatest job I can. There is nothing for me to be ashamed of for making work a priority over school.

And that is how big decisions are made.

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