Designated Driver's Creed

These are my drinkers. There are many like them, but these are mine.

My drinkers are my best friends. They are my life. I must master them as I must master my life.

My drinkers, without me, are useless. Without my drinkers, I am useless. I must guide my drinkers true. I must be stronger than the alcohol that is trying to tempt me. I must outwit it before it outwits me. I will.

My drinkers and I know that what counts in a party is not the rounds we drink, the noise of our laughter, nor the jokes we make. We know that it is the joy of being together that counts. We will be joyful.

My drinkers are human, even as I, and they are my life. Thus, I will treat them each as a brother or sister. I will learn their weaknesses, their strengths, their trigger points, their accessories, their drink preferences and their dislikes. I will keep my drinkers in sight and standing, even as I am sober and ready. We will become part of each other. We will.

Before all, I swear this creed. My drinkers and I are the hit of the party. We are the masters of our social outing. And I am the savior of their lives.

So be it, until victory is ours and there is no DUI nor accident, but all drinkers safely home in peace!

(With credit to the Rifleman's Creed.)